whogeek: growling tiger (Ticked Off)
 FUCK THIS!!  I hate my insomnia.  I have a final in.... 5 hours, and I haven't been able to fall asleep.  And I'm not even being productive like I sometimes get when my brain just won't shut up.  I just... can't get to sleep.  I went to bed 4 hours ago, and haven't slept a wink.

Oh, and people on FB keep sending me links to the 'leaked' video of Bin Laden's death/execution what-the-fuck-ever.  I don't give a shit about the video, and i DON'T WANT TO SEE IT!!! STOP SENDING IT TO ME!!!!!  I WILL FUCKING DE-FRIEND YOU IF YOU DON'T GET THE MESSAGE THAT I DON'T WANT TO SEE PEOPLE GET KILLED.  I AM NOT INTO THAT SHIT, THE BASTARD IS DEAD, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT SEEING IT.  MAYBE YOU CAN WATCH THE GODDAMNED VIDEO AND NOT HAVE YOUR STOMACH TRY TO VACATE YOUR BODY, BUT I AM NOT DOWN WITH WATCHING PEOPLE DIE.  FOR FUCKS SAKE, I BURST INTO TEARS THE FIRST TIME I HIT A GUY WITH THE INTENT TO HARM.  I DON'T WATCH GORY SHIT FOR THE SAKE OF THE GORE.  TORTURE PORN IS NOT MY THING, SO DON'T EXPECT ME TO ENJOY IT.  I think I'm done now......

On top of that, my roommate keeps unplugging the fridge when I still have stuff in there.  Awesome.

I am so ready to be done with this shit.
whogeek: The WhoGeek w/ blue/white/red target (Default)
I am a goddamn idiot.  I had the opportunity to tell my dad about wanting to get out and leave college for a bit, and I didn't.  I want to scream and punch something, because this whole situation is absolute shit.  I don't know what I'm going to say to my parents tomorrow.  Because guess what?  They're coming to visit.  FML 
whogeek: greg in the hall post-explosion (Greggo Oww)
I've been sick all week, and this week is homecoming week.  Which means, the marching band has been working really hard at practices, but because I basically can't breathe, I couldn't play or march.  Fuck.  So we had a performance tonight.  Kinda informal, no uniforms or anything, but a performance.  I couldn't play.  Because I currently can't breathe right.  And I talked to the band director earlier tonight, and basically, I'm at the point where I'm in danger of losing my place in the band.  Because I missed the first game, and I might miss tomorrows game, and if I miss one more..... well, it sucks.  And I want to scream and rage and punch things and cry and generally go batshit, but I can't because I have no voice and my life sucks.  Someone tell me I'm being irrational and whiny, because I need someone to knock some sense into me.  Real bad. 

life sucks

Sep. 24th, 2010 12:45 am
whogeek: greg in the hall post-explosion (Greggo Oww)
So, I wanted to join the Marching Band service fraternity,  Kappa Kappa Psi(pronounced sigh).  Went to rush events, hung out with the KKPsi people, talked, laughed, generally had a lot of fun with them.  So Wednesday, I had to turn in my letter of intent, saying that yes, I wanted to pledge.  A few hours ago, a couple of people from KKPsi came by my dorm room to tell me if I could pledge or not.  I can't.  My GPA is too low right now, because of the whole, passive aggressive, depression thing last year.  You know,  this shit.  So I've been working all last semester and now this semester to bring my GPA up, but it's still too low.  It's really rather disappointing, because I really wanted to do this.  I feel kind of empty at the moment.  And I'm tired.  It hurts a bit.  Because this was something that was really important to me.  And I still have writings to get done.  Fuck my life.
whogeek: Hatter grinning (Just a little Mad)
But first, a bit of freaking out.  Because tomorrow is the first football game, and because I'm in the marching band, I have to be up at the stadium at 9 for run-through, and I won't be done until after 7.  And I do not feel ready at all, partly because it is 9/11, and partly because I've been sick basically all week, and it doesn't seem to be getting any better.  Fuck.

So, anyways.  Last weekend was kinda crazy.  Went home for the long weekend, YAY for having Monday off!  Which was, honestly, probably more stressful than it should have been.  Yeah.  But, I did get to go to a party with some friends (my best friend from high school's boyfriends 21st b-day party) and watched most everyone there get drunk, or at least buzzed/tipsy.  Although, the boyfriend did end up on the floor at one point, because "It's cooler than the sofa."  Honestly, he pretty much slid/rolled off the sofa, and was to uncoordinated to get up.  So that was pretty fun.  Then I went to see "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" with neighbors and mom, and we were quite pleased with the geek factor of it.  We were all quite baffled that it got such bad reviews.  It was supposed to be action/comedy, and it was.  You just needed to be pretty geeky to get a lot of the comedy.  Oh, and the shirt Dave (the protagonist) was wearing in the last bit?  This one.  Awesome.  I kinda yanked on my mom's arm and whispered urgently at her, and she totally missed what I was saying.... Both times.  XD  I'm really kind of annoyed that the reviewers didn't like it, because it's physics geek (who, honestly, isn't all that great looking and has a kinda funny voice) gets music geek, plus age-old romance finally fufilled.  And Tesla coils.  Lots of Tesla coils.  And awesome special effects.  :D  Geek heaven.  Especially some of the comic bits.  I seriously think all geeks should see it.  I want to own it.  :D

Anyways.  long day tomorrow, presuming I'm not dead from mega-cold.
whogeek: growling tiger (Ticked Off)
Seriously.  This shit has got to stop.  My roommate and I are not getting along.  Ok, so she likes to stay up late doing stuff, but if I stay up late doing stuff, she gets annoyed, because she's a light sleeper.  She has like, no morning classes, and I do, and my bedshaker wakes her up even though the actual alarm volume is off.  And she gets annoyed because on the two days when I don't have morning classes (Tuesday and Thursday) I still get up fairly early, but I don't leave the room for a couple hours, and my doing stuff on the computer wakes her up.  My typing wakes her up!  Not good.  Because I sleep like a damn dead thing.  And she's a super-light sleeper.  **mutters dire threats**  And I'm sick.  Which makes things even harder.  Because I've come to the realization that when I'm sick I turn into a cat.  I just want to curl up, be petted, and nap.  And she's sick too, but still damnably freaking peppy!  It's weirding me out.  /bitchyness

A more coherent/less angsty post will soon follow.  In which I will talk about last weekend.
whogeek: growling tiger (Ticked Off)
Hate.  Massive amounts of hate right now.

Hate No 1: Caffeine tabs.  Because I get 2 hours of good concentration, an hour of badbadbad jitters (including muscle tremors and shaking, slight panickyness, and the inability to sit still), and once it's all out of my system, I feel stretched, thin, and worn down.  And all-over sore.  Because of the muscle tremors. 

Hate No 2: The bus system.  Stupid, waited an hour for a bus to come, even after one came by, but they weren't picking anyone up.

Hate No 3: SCENTED LAUNDRY DETERGENT.  IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT.  AND MAKES IT HARD FOR ME TO BREATHE.  I HAVE TO SLEEP IN THE GODDAMN ROOM, AND NOW I CAN BARELY BREATHE YOU FUCKING ASS!!!

Very not pleased with how my day has been.
whogeek: greg in the hall post-explosion (Greggo Oww)

So.... My stomach and my intestines decided they wanted to not get along today.  And my lower intestines pulled my bladder in on it, and my stomach seems to have hijacked liver/spleen/kidney area, and so I'm all tense, so my entire body is sore.  And the tums I've been popping all day have done nothing for me.  And I think I'm giving myself a fever because it's making me all kinds of stressed, along with the possible stupidity, although when I went down to the park near my dorm with the little creek and sat on various rocks with my feet in the water and the sun and reading LotR(finally) and relaxing, it got a little better.  Until I came back to my dorm room.  And I'm beginning to think my room is the start of this whole thing, because the AC unit isn't working, so we have to leave the window open or the room gets hellaciously hot(with two computers, a microfridge, a tv, and various small electronics, it does), except at night, when it gets really cold.  So I've been living in a room that fluxes between really cold and hellaciously hot.  Not really conducive to good health.  Also, I might have gotten whatever minor cold my roomie's been fighting the past few days.  But I'm missing fencing.  Which makes me sad.  But it would be a bad idea to go and work out feeling like this, mostly out of the fear of throwing up(which would be mostly liquid, seeing as I haven't really eaten all day(sorry for the TMI moment, I do that when I'm sick)) and the danger of doing so wearing the fencing mask.  Even more gross.  And now I'm trying crackers and ginger ale.  And it is a bad idea to put carbonated beverages in ceramic mugs, because they don't stop fizzing.  This, I am just now finding out. XD

So. My possible stupidity.  Saturday I went out shopping at Wal-Mart, which was kinda confusing, because they've been remodeling, so nothing is where it should be, and I'm a creature of habit, damnit, so stop changing the freaking store layout on me.  Anyways.  Yeah, went shopping.  Got a few foodstuffs, then wandered over to the electronics.  Some 30-year-old guy hit on me and didn't believe me when I told him I'm 19 until I showed him on my license(which still says "under 18" because I'm a lazy sod).  So that was freaky, and then I decided I was finally going to get an iPod.  Which may or may not have been the dumbest thing I've done in a while.  And you know what?  I dropped $150 for it.  Not the smartest move when I'm basically a broke college student with no steady income.  XP  And I keep having to reiterate why buying an iPod was actually a practical move, and not simply "ohh, pretty blue nano, WANTSMUSTBUYNOW" sillyness.  And it's only partly working.  Because I'm still a little worried that my parents(who are paying for my college tuition) are going to think I'm an absolute idiot for doing this.  And yes, I've been applying for jobs, and yes, I'm hoping to have a job for the summer, but buying an iPod before I have some regular income was a bit impulsive.  so.  Yeah, that's about it.

Also, because I have been looking for summer work, while at Wal-Mart I had the crazy(read: really stupid) idea to apply for a summer job there.  Lucky for me, I didn't follow through on that idea. XD


whogeek: greg making 'ew' face (Disgust and Loathing)
I swear, the next time that fucking song starts running through my head, I'm going to run my head through the fucking wall. Just to make the damned thing stop playing in me head. It's a shitty song too. And I want it out of my head permanently, but it won't ever be out of my head, because I've got a friggin' musical brain. Which means I can hear a song once and remember a good portion of the melody, having disected it from the counter-melody, harmony, counter-harmony, back-beat, continuing parts, etc, etc. After 3 or 4 listenings, I can sing quite a few of the lyrics, and it will be permanently in my head. So that shitty music video is now officially stuck in my head, because I'm not quite fast enough with the mute button. And the girl singing it looks like a slut. And the song is slutty too, which I might have been able to handle if it wasn't so fucking blatant, but they don't even try to hide the fact that the song is about sex. At least "I Can See For Miles" and "Pictures of Lily" are subtle. And the music isn't even all that original or complex. It's the same damn notes and rhythms over and over again. Probably the simplest song I've hear in a while. And simple isn't necessarily bad. Simple can be very pretty or fun. But this fucking song is neither pretty or fun. It's Goddamned annoying as shit. And the singer tries to look cutesy, but she only succeds in looking like a slut. A ridiculous slut too. The video is shit. The music is shit. The lyrics are shit. The singer is shit. The whole thing is shitty.

**takes a deep breath** Ok, I think I'm done ranting. I just really needed to get that out.
whogeek: The WhoGeek w/ blue/white/red target (Default)

Seriously.  I feel like I got run over by a mack truck.  My shoulders are on fire.  Or rather, I feel like someone smashed a railroad spike through my shoulder.  And my hips have gone all wonky.  And I haven't been sleeping well, because my bed isn't that great, and I'm generally unhappy with my life.  Not to mention the three page paper I have to write by tuesday.  Shitty.  And I hate candy commercials.  Or commercials for anthing tasty.

More ramblings under the cut. )



I think I'm done now.

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