Lol. Yeah, that's part of why I'm not doing chemistry anymore, because that part of me would be even more restless if I spent all day cooped up in a lab somewhere, and restless plus possible explosives equals not good. Don't worry, I enjoy getting snippets from you! And yeah, I really like John, because despite the beast not having an actual separate personality, she's amazingly similar in some respects(sudden almost-reflexive block/attack moments, and liking some people(I tend to trust her on that, she's good at knowing who's trustworthy) and getting protective). And don't feel self-conscious about your fic, because it actually made me feel like I wasn't crazy with this feral thing inside me.
My first real experience with the beast lashing out, before she started making me lose time, was in eighth grade, when we both snapped because this guy had been harassing me for months and I hit him hard, right over his kidney. I was lucky I didn't actually use my stronger arm, because I could have done some serious damage. But I burst into tears and went and hid in the bathroom for about 5 minutes, curled into a ball in the corner. And the beast was both satisfied, smug, and comforting all at once. I actually don't think I could have faced talking to the teacher about it after if my friend hadn't been behind me, and if the beast hadn't been snarling at the guy standing on the teacher's other side. Course, he tried to do it to one of my friends in ninth grade, and I lost a couple seconds to the beast then but he was already out of the building at that point, so she couldn't do anything but settle back and let me be rational about it. And then there was the flashback triggered by a guy in my senior year, in the middle of the band room, where I lost a couple of minutes to her.
Now I try to let her out often enough in some sort of controlled way that I don't have so much trouble keeping control.
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My first real experience with the beast lashing out, before she started making me lose time, was in eighth grade, when we both snapped because this guy had been harassing me for months and I hit him hard, right over his kidney. I was lucky I didn't actually use my stronger arm, because I could have done some serious damage. But I burst into tears and went and hid in the bathroom for about 5 minutes, curled into a ball in the corner. And the beast was both satisfied, smug, and comforting all at once. I actually don't think I could have faced talking to the teacher about it after if my friend hadn't been behind me, and if the beast hadn't been snarling at the guy standing on the teacher's other side. Course, he tried to do it to one of my friends in ninth grade, and I lost a couple seconds to the beast then but he was already out of the building at that point, so she couldn't do anything but settle back and let me be rational about it. And then there was the flashback triggered by a guy in my senior year, in the middle of the band room, where I lost a couple of minutes to her.
Now I try to let her out often enough in some sort of controlled way that I don't have so much trouble keeping control.