Especially if we bred it with kudzu. Crap, we'd have more of that stuff than we'd know what to do with. It would take over. Gardeners would suddenly become as revered as cops.
Super-Ivy warriors!! :D I'd be part of some elite plant-fighting task force! XD You'd have to have a team of gardeners at every building, working 24/7 to make sure the ivy stayed under control.
damn, now I want to write the super-ivy getting out of the SGC and the government recruiting every gardener and botanist and horticulturalist to fight the threat. And fighting in shifts, because otherwise the tide would turn against us. And there would be sadness for the loss of an amazing plant, but this overwhelming desire to stop an invasive species.
Jack's idea would probably be like "let it get to California and let the wildfires take care of it." Or invent a freeze-ray or something. You'd have to call in some super-serious weed specialist, kinda like the pest control guy from "Over the Hedge." Epic battles would ensue. Until finally it becomes sentient, and Jack tricks it into getting onto a Goa'uld or Ori ship so it can go spread wherever it wants to.
Lol. Yes, Jack would be totally flippant about it. It would make a pretty awesome weapon. Fire a specialized canister with a sprout of the stuff into a ship/beam it in/sneak it on board and let it just... grow and take over everything. Most awesome bioweapon ever.
And then we'd get the rabid environmentalists claiming that it was nature's payback for all the crap we've done to the planet. They'd release it deliberately. Imagine what that would look like on C-SPAN.
Haha, reporters having to walk ahead of this ever-growing wall of vines as they work their way across the continent. And no one can really figure out a way to stop it, there's just these videos of teams of people taking shifts to fight it back and contain it. And the rabid environmentalists attacking the teams. >.>
It'd be on mystery shows. The opening scene is this nice young couple camping out in the woods, but they start to get jittery when they hear a rustle in the bushes.
Turns out, it was the bushes. Then they're going to evolve so far that they become the dominant species on the planet, and they have to make their own law enforcement or otherwise they'll deplete all the resources, and when one plant murders another their CSIs examine the plant-corpse for DNA. "This one has traces of redhead, sir, and those are only found in zoos and private collections. There can't be that many people who have that much money and was connected to the victim."
"Except..."
"Sir, do you think...?"
"I do." *puts on sunglasses* "Mr. Peabody back. And he's weeding out the competition."
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damn, now I want to write the super-ivy getting out of the SGC and the government recruiting every gardener and botanist and horticulturalist to fight the threat. And fighting in shifts, because otherwise the tide would turn against us. And there would be sadness for the loss of an amazing plant, but this overwhelming desire to stop an invasive species.
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Turns out, it was the bushes. Then they're going to evolve so far that they become the dominant species on the planet, and they have to make their own law enforcement or otherwise they'll deplete all the resources, and when one plant murders another their CSIs examine the plant-corpse for DNA. "This one has traces of redhead, sir, and those are only found in zoos and private collections. There can't be that many people who have that much money and was connected to the victim."
"Except..."
"Sir, do you think...?"
"I do." *puts on sunglasses* "Mr. Peabody back. And he's weeding out the competition."
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"
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Oh, speaking of zombies, did you hear that the CDC posted an article about them? Go ahead, look at cdc.gov. I wonder if it's still there.
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Also, DUDE!! Totally awesome. My life is complete. Now I fall down go boom.
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