Still feeling off, but with a little more direction and purpose

[whogeek]

So.... I did it. I told my mom about wanting to drop out, and she and my dad are coming up to get me, so we can discuss things, and get everything settled. And it was surprisingly easy to come clean to her about everything. She didn't yell or anything, but she still wants me to try and stay in college, and after last night, I feel better. I still feel lost and confused, but now, I know what I have to do.... I have to find myself. And if that means I have to leave college, I'll do it. Because depression is not a place I like being. Oh, yeah. I went to the school counselor, and I'm definitely showing all the signs and symptoms of depression. Whoop-de-frikkin-doo. So now, I don't have just ADD, I've got depression too. If I feel ready to go back to college after, I will, but if I don't, I'll just head off into the world for myself. The thought hurts, but it's what I've got to do for myself.

Edit: I'm about this close to going and finding the fucking idiots somewhere in my dorm building who are blasting the bass, because it's giving me a headache, and making my TEETH ache.

Comments

[brilligspoons.livejournal.com]

I just read your earlier post, and I have to say, I think you're making a good choice by taking some time off to sort your life out. College definitely isn't for everyone, anyway - people have this misconception that it's the natural next step after high school, but that's so not true across the board.

Besides, staying good with yourself is the best thing, in my opinion. :)

[whogeek.livejournal.com]

I just hope I can convince my parents of that. Because my mom does still want me to continue, when I don't think that it's the right path for me.

[brilligspoons.livejournal.com]

Strike a compromise - say you want to try just having a job, or whatever, for a semester or two, at which point you'll reevaluate staying out of college or going back. You could even take a course or two at a community college (maybe something that interests you in a fun way) to keep your mom happy!

Just making some suggestions - feel free to ignore me if I'm overstepping my bounds. :)

[whogeek.livejournal.com]

That's actually what I'm planning to do. Hopefully, they'll let me have tonight to get a little equilibrium back, and I can go get some luff from my big sister. She may be the genius of the family, and I sometimes feel a little inferior next to her, but we're always there for each other when we need it.

Not at all. If I didn't want advice, I wouldn't have said anything on here at all.

[whogeek.livejournal.com]

By the way, I love that icon.

[talkingtocactus.livejournal.com]

i'm glad it went ok with your parents - i'm sure they'll want you to stick at college but i don't think they'll be pissed off if you decide to put your health/state of mind first - after all, college isn't likely to go anywhere.

if you do think it might be depression, get to a doc as soon as possible and get on some meds asap - i know it's shit to go on another medication, but sometimes it's better to do that at least until you can get sorted, than just try to cope by yourself. antideps (unlike certain other mental health meds) are by no means permanent, and quite often people get back on their feet and can come off them again. just take it slowly. and look out for side effects, although antidep side effects usually wear off fairly soon. also make sure you check for any interactions with ADD drugs - this is the story of my life, so many meds i've been on interact with all kinds of things (and ritalin was definitely in that category!) and often doctors don't think to check before adding other meds on top, so make sure you're aware of it.

but meds-sermon aside, i think you're doing the right thing - good luck :)

[whogeek.livejournal.com]

I think mostly I was scared of my mom's reaction to the fact that I'm failing at least 2 classes, but she was suprisingly chill about it.

Thanks for all the support.

Oh, and Good Morning. ;)

[talkingtocactus.livejournal.com]

i understand that, it's hard if you think you're doing something your parents are dead against and these can be life changing decisions which means they often fall into that category!

no worries, i hope you get to a decision that works for you and that your parents support you :)

haha, yeah, it's still night time really, my internal clock is all over the place!

[whogeek.livejournal.com]

It's not like we haven't butted heads on other things, but my parents are pretty set on the idea that earning a college degree is important. Me, I would rather have a job that I enjoy and gets me out and moving.

[talkingtocactus.livejournal.com]

think it's important for some people but not everyone - not everyone's cut out for study/academia, it's just the way of the world. i know people who've done brilliant things without getting a degree, or only getting one late. one of my best friends is CEO of an important charity at 30, she only went to uni at 26 (and worked at this same charity the whole time she was there); my best friend is a very senior person at her company which is a big vet supply firm, and she left school at 16, my brother is a published author (!) and he never went to uni either. you don't have to have one to do well, some people get on with studying/academic stuff (for instance, i started late but i love it!) and other people just don't. it does have a kind of kudos i guess, but i don't think that's really fair, it's possible to do just as great things without a degree.

by the way i meant to say earlier, your post title made me think of the "who are you" lost verse - maybe you'll end up a superstar! :D